


Save Me From Myself

by bluths



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-03
Updated: 2013-02-03
Packaged: 2017-11-28 01:52:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/668912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluths/pseuds/bluths
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam has a stutter and is an outcast at his school. Until he meets Zayn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Save Me From Myself

He wouldn’t speak. He grew up his whole life barely speaking one word and what he did say was usually written or in sign language. He wasn’t deaf or dumb, that much the doctors knew. Liam Payne was a special boy. He had a horrible stutter, so much so, that it embarrassed him to even speak aloud. His mother assured him that he was normal and he had a perfectly lovely voice. But Liam would shake his head incessantly and sign furiously  _‘I’m a freak mum’_.

He channeled all of his energy into running. He was damn good at it too. He had broken all the records and he loved seeing  _Liam Payne_  next to the number one on all the scoreboards. And despite the fact that he was the  _best_  he was still made fun of, it didn’t matter.

“Jesus Christ, that Payne kid, he’s gonna kick your ass man,” he overheard boys talking in the locker room after a practice one day.

“Yeah, the coach said he even had a chance in the 2012 Olympics.”

“Man, for a retard that kid sure can run,” one of them said and the others erupted into a fit of giggles.

Nostrils flaring Liam stomped out from his corner and threw the boy against the wall, the others too shocked to even do anything else. He had his hand firmly held against the boy’s throat. The boy struggled and kicked and begged Liam to get off of him but he didn’t listen. Why should he? He was a retard, right? He couldn’t think for himself?

“I,” Liam’s face was beet red as he struggled with the words. “I-I…I-I…I’m…I’m-….I’m  _n-not_  a r-reta-retard.”

“Yeah? Why can’t you say it in a single sentence then?” The boy hissed at him.

Liam didn’t want them to see him cry so instead he let the boy go and began to turn and suddenly whirled around again and his fist slammed into the boy’s cheek. He was in shock at the sight of the bleeding boy on the floor. His friends rushed to his aid and looked up at Liam in disbelief. Liam couldn’t really believe himself either.

“You better get the fuck out of here, retard,” one of them charged at Liam.

“I-“

“You want me to beat the shit out of you? Go! Get out!”

Liam didn’t need to be told twice and he ran out the door and didn’t stop. He didn’t bother to change out of his practice clothes and just grabbed his duffle bag and backpack and slung them over each of his shoulders and frantically ran home. He didn’t know what to tell his mother about his swollen and bleeding knuckles. He didn’t even understand how he had that much power in him.

He slammed the door when he came in through the kitchen and his mother stalked in and gave him a bewildered look. Liam just shrugged and tried to walk past her but she held up her hand and sighed.

“Liam, enough of this, every day you come home you’re upset. What happened?”

Liam shook his head and signed, ‘ _Nothing, mum, you worry too much_.’

“I do now do I?” She gave him a suspicious look. And then she noticed his hand.

“ _Liam_ , what did you do?” She gasped.

Liam shook his head once again and she cut him off, “No. Don’t you write this off Liam James. What did you do?”

Liam felt the tears watering in his eyes before he could stop them, he wanted to speak to her so she could hear it from his words but he didn’t know how to sign retard. He signed for her to fetch him a pen and a piece of paper. When she had gone he threw his bags down on the ground and slumped down into a chair. She slammed the pen and paper down in front of him.

He began to write,

_Mum, people at school think I’m a retard because I can’t talk. It takes me ages to get out a single sentence. I’m doing really good at my running, it’s the only thing I’m good at and everyone’s trying to take it away from me. I had to hit him. He made me feel so sad. These kids called me a retard. My team mates. Am I a retard?_

And he had to drop the pen because he was shaking so bad he couldn’t bring himself to write anymore. The tears clouding his vision and his mother looked horrified. She pulled him into her arms and stroked his hair. Ever since Nicola and Ruth had left Liam was her baby, he was the one thing she had left. And she didn’t want him to think he was anything less than special to her. He was her one and only son and she treasured him. And it caused her heart a lot of pain to think that people didn’t have the admiration and love for her son that she did.

“Liam,” she took his face in her hands and wiped his tears with her thumbs and looked into his red tear-filled eyes, “Baby, listen to me. You’re not…You’re not a retard. That’s a disgusting derogatory term and I won’t have it. Violence isn’t going to help anything either. Two wrongs don’t make a right. We’re going to help you with your speech; you’re a perfectly normal functioning boy.”

 _‘Then why can’t I talk?’_ he signed.

“Lots of people have a stutter, love,” she brushed the hair out of his eyes. “You’re just one of them. But I love you very much. I really, really do. And you’re special to your father and I. We couldn’t be more proud of you.”

Liam didn’t have any friends. And now that Ruth had gone off to university that made things even more difficult. It didn’t help that he was gay, either. Girls certainly didn’t talk to him, let alone other guys. He’d been called every name in the book so he was used to the teasing and tormenting. The only class he really looked forward to was Physics. He had an entire table to himself and he never had to partner up. He hated partner work. He was perfectly capable of getting a 90% or higher by himself.

He was sincerely upset when he walked into class one day and saw a dark-haired boy which was lightly tousled wearing a pink jumper and glasses. He looked cool, despite it all. If Liam even thought of coming into school like that he would get chased out of it being called every derogatory thing he could think of.

“Hi, I’m Zayn,” the boy nodded at him.

Liam just nodded and smiled and sat down beside him, nervous. He didn’t know what to make of this boy? What if he hated him like the rest of them? What if he told Liam he was a faggot or a retard? He couldn’t have his one favorite class ruined by another peer. But Zayn didn’t say a word to him and didn’t even look at him, in fact. But Liam allowed himself to look. He definitely liked what he saw.

Zayn caught him, “Can I help you?”

Liam flushed and shook his head quickly. Zayn shot him a coy smile before running his fingers through his fine hair. He looked at Liam for a moment before beginning to speak. And Liam held in his breath, the worst was yet to come.

“So, what’s your name?”

Liam took out a piece of paper and pencil and wrote down  _Liam Payne_  as neatly as he could. He pushed it over to Zayn who read it and gave a snigger.

“What’s wrong? Can’t you talk?”

_I’ve got a really bad stutter. If I talk you’ll make fun of me._

“What makes you think that?”

_Everyone does._

“Well, then fuck em man!” Zayn sounded disgusted. “Liam Payne, you seem like a cool guy. Are you an athlete? You look like one.”

_I run._

“You any good?”

Liam smirked,  _I guess you could say that._

“I don’t have a problem with you,” Zayn shrugged. “Then again, I’m not an asshole.”

_You’re nice._

“I wish you could talk, man. I bet you tell really funny jokes. You look like a funny guy.”

Liam couldn’t help but laugh  _I guess so? I make them up, though. I have no friends to base them off of._

“I don’t have any friends either,” Zayn replied indifferently. “I just transferred here from Bradford.”

_Why?_

“My dad got a new job,” Zayn explained. “It’s cool, though, a new start. You can be whoever you want to be.”

Before Liam could think he was writing  _I wish I was someone else_

Zayn tossed him a dark look and said sternly, “Don’t ever say that. I don’t know you that well, Liam. I don’t know what you sound like or what you’ve done or where you’ve been; but you’re you for a reason. Don’t sell yourself short. You’re your own worst critic.”

_No one’s ever said they were glad I was me except my mum_

“I’m glad you’re you,” Zayn offered.

Liam rolled his eyes  _That doesn’t count. I just met you._

“I’m a good judge of character. I can tell, you’re a good guy. Now you wanna be my friend or not?”

They were friends. Zayn helped time Liam’s runs after school so his father didn’t have to. He came over for family dinners and his mum met Zayn’s mum. And everything was going well. Liam taught Zayn a bit of sign language and sometimes he would just give him the middle finger and Liam would fall into hysterics. There was something about Zayn that made Liam feel like he was really worth it. And it was the constant reassurance or the lovely words he would use. It was the way he acted. He acted like Liam could do no wrong and Liam loved it.

They went to the movies together. Liam loved movies it was an escape from real life that he could never truly get for himself. He didn’t have to talk either. He could just look and listen, which he had grown accustomed to for the majority of his life. They sat at the back, Zayn liked the back. It was pitch black and Liam could only see the outline of Zayn. At first he thought that Zayn’s hand had made contact with his on accident. But then it stayed there. His thumb gently caressing Liam’s veins and knuckles, sending goosebumps throughout his body. It was oddly erotic. And Liam was thankful it was so dark because he shifted in his seat when he felt his boner press against the front of his jeans.

And he didn’t realize Zayn felt the same way until they kissed. They were in Zayn’s basement watching t.v. idly but mostly just talking like always, well except for Liam who had to write out what he wanted to say on his notepad. Their bodies were sandwiched together on the tiny loveseat and without thinking Liam grabbed Zayn by the chin and pushed his lips up against Zayn’s. And he was surprised that Zayn kissed back. His eyes widened when he felt Zayn’s tongue licking his bottom lip, urging for him to part his mouth. He hadn’t French kissed in a long time and felt nervous about the whole thing. But with Zayn it was easy. He was a little toothy and sloppy in places but it was the good kind. And it reminded Liam of whom they were. Just two misfit teenage boys making out on a broken down couch in the basement.

They took things slow at first. Zayn didn’t want to rush things with Liam. It was difficult because Liam always wanted to  _tell_  Zayn how he felt, he wanted him to hear it from his own mouth. But it had almost gotten to the point where he couldn’t speak. He was in a speech class, like his mother had insisted.

 _‘I don’t want to go_ ’ Liam signed almost too quick for Zayn to understand him because he was seething.

“Babe, it’ll be good for you,” Zayn soothed. “You don’t wanna forget how to speak entirely.”

 _‘I thought you were on my side_ ’

Zayn sighed, “I am, Li, I am. It’s just…you gotta be kind to yourself. Give yourself a chance. You’re smart, you’re beautiful, and you’re hilarious. And I’ll like you whether you can talk or not. But I’d love to be able to hear your voice.”

 _‘My voice is ugly’_  Liam hung his head.

Zayn lifted his chin up with his pointer finger and fixed his eyes on him. Liam felt his knees quiver because when Zayn looked at him like that he forgot how to breathe. Zayn’s mouth twisted into a small smile.

“Liam James Payne. Every single inch of you is beautiful. I don’t care what you sound like and I don’t care if it takes you five minutes to say hello. I want to hear it.”

_I want to tell you something’_

“I want to hear it,” Zayn encouraged.

Liam took a deep breath and signed, ‘ _I love you_ ’

Zayn seemed almost ecstatic as a slow grin spread across his face. He placed his hand gently over Liam’s and gave it a little squeeze. They weren’t just friends anymore, they were in love. Liam never thought he’d fit in or have any friends but Zayn made him feel adequate for once in his life. Zayn told him once that he deserved to be happy; he earned the right to be happy. And Liam didn’t believe him till now.

“I love  _you_ , Liam. I wanna hear you say it.”

Liam reddened and shook his head and Zayn inclined, “Yes, Liam, please. I want to hear you say the words. It’s just three words.”

_‘You’ll make fun of me’_

Zayn scoffed, “Why would I do that? You’re my boyfriend and we just said we loved each other. It’s been six months, Liam, and I haven’t heard your voice once.”

“I…” Liam started and then stopped, taking in deep breaths and preparing himself.

Zayn nodded and placed a hand on his knee and encouraged him to continue, “Come on, Liam, you can do this. I love you.”

“I…I lo-,” he stopped and shook his head.

“You’re so close, babe,” Zayn appeased.

“I…I….I….lo-….love….y-….y….yo….you,” Liam stammered and he looked up hesitantly at Zayn’s beaming smile.

He breathed, “You did it, Liam, you did it.”

Words became easier to say over the next few months because of the speech class that his mother had enrolled him in. He could now make simple requests and say yes and no without taking two or three minutes. He finally felt normal. In fact, he’d even talked to some of his classmates who thought he was cool now because of how much he hung out with Zayn. Things seemed to get a lot easier.

On their first year anniversary, Liam was ready to take it to the next step. Zayn helped him through so much he didn’t know where to begin in thanking him. He didn’t want to think about what might have happened if Zayn hadn’t of moved here. He didn’t want to think about a world without Zayn. He wanted to give Zayn something to remember, not like an object that he could lose so easily.

And it took some coaxing on Liam’s part, finally. Usually Zayn was the one who did the encouraging and made the plans. And at first it was nice, just the two of them lying in bed, lost in one another, completely naked. Tongues and hands exploring eagerly. Zayn told Liam he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and Liam didn’t know how to reply. He was too lost in the fact that Zayn was him, that Zayn wanted to be with him and in the most intimate of ways.

The press was tight and hot at first; it didn’t feel good at all. Liam cried out in pain and Zayn promised him it would get better. It did, gradually, and he moaned loudly when he felt Zayn wrap his fingers around Liam’s aching cock. Zayn was being too gentle with him almost, he snapped his hips back to meet Zayn’s thrusts but it wasn’t enough.

“Z…Za…Zayn,” Liam panted.

“Tell me what you want baby,” Zayn huffed in his ear.

“I…H…Har…Harder, plea-please,” Liam begged.

Zayn groaned and increased the movement of his hips, already so unbearably close just from hearing Liam talk, “Talk to me, babe.”

“I…Ha-…Hard…Harder please,” Liam whined, thrusting forward into Zayn’s hand, getting closer to the edge.

“Fuck,” Zayn called out.

“Feel…Feels…S-so…good,” Liam didn’t know how he even had the air in his lungs to form words that anyone could understand.

And Zayn cried out as he came, and Liam felt unexpectedly full. He was next, spurting all over his stomach and Zayn’s hand but Zayn didn’t seem to mind. They lay there in their mess afterward. Holding each other and giggling, feet sliding over one another. And Liam wondered if this was how it always was, when you loved someone. That every little touched seemed like so much. And that even more was sometimes never enough.

“H…Have I gott…en….bett…er?” Liam asked Zayn one day.

Zayn looked up at him and smiled, “You’re incredible. I’m so proud of you.”

“Pe…people are ni…nicer now,” Liam stated.

“It’s been six and half months, babe, you’re on your way and you’re doing great. I loved you when you could barely speak and I love you now that you can. I’d love you no matter what.”

“I…I love…y…you too,” Liam grinned.

“I won’t forget about you, Liam, I don’t think I ever could. Even if I really tried.”

Liam’s eyes shone with tears. No one had ever made him feel this special, loved, or worth it. He never felt like he was worthy of anything. But when he was with Zayn he felt like he could practically achieve anything. Zayn saved him from himself. 

 


End file.
